Sticks and wheelchairs

I have never considered myself to be anything vaguely like Pollyanna, if anyone had ever suggested the "glad game" I would probably have throttled them!

But I am feeling overwhelmed with gratitude at the moment, almost like I am surrounded by a warm fuzzy pink cloud!

It is all to do with kindness, tenderness, gentleness and humility,  and it is making my heart sing.

I  have not been  well  for a while now, as I am sure you have heard me moaning! 
But actually I have been registered disabled for quite along time. 

I didn't really talk about it much, because I didn't want to be seen as "unable"! I love my work so much and it energises me and sustains me, and I am so lucky to have a family that looks after me!
So I avoided my sticks, dismissed any wheelchair offers, and hobbled around hurting like fuck and being too proud, or whatever to show my vulnerability.

There has come a time now though that I can't get away with it! I can't walk without my sticks, go round the supermarket without a scooter, cope without the occasional  wheelchair, fly without "special assistance" and use my blue badge!!
It has been a big learning for me! and since I threw the towel in and accepted help, I cannot tell you how wonderful it has been!

Being seen now to be disabled has been the most amazing experience! 
It brings out such absolute inherent amazing bloody kindness in people, it makes me quite tearful!

The lovely people who I teach, who ply me with cups of tea and won't let me carry anything!

The hotel staff who gently take everything off me make everything accessible  and make my stays so comfortable, the other guests and travellers who open doors for me. or ask if I am ok, or even just smile. 
The prisoners who, seeing me struggle, look after me and make me feel so safe and valued.  
My patients, who coming to see me for their own health, spend as much time being concerned about mine!
The other shoppers who ask if they can reach something for me, or help me, the airline staff who treat me like a special guest, even the security  officers who ask me if I am in pain before they very gently search me! 

I watched with such sadness the people who were being  carried to hospital after the dreadful tragedy in New Zealand,  seeing the tenderness in the faces of the paramedics and the compassion that was so apparent, was so  humbling.

I remember watching the doctors and nurses running out of the London hospital to Westminster bridge, with no thought for themselves, the people helping kids  away from the bombs at concerts and rescuing others from earthquakes, automatically reaching out  to the person next to them. 

People really are very very kind! We are truly  a benevolent species, but  most of the time we do focus on the bad stuff and forget to see all of decency around us,  I am so thankful for that lesson.
So I will wear my disability with a different guise  now! 
It is making me aware  that perhaps we all have "sticks and wheelchairs" of some kind, even if they are invisible, and I suspect we all need to feel the same care and compassion that I am experiencing from my fellow travellers.
I may look like a doddery old lady, but because of all the love I get, in my heart I can still run, and  I can still dance!